Thanks to Social Media, Mom Cheerleaders Help Us All Get Through The Summertime Body Blues

Me, in all my glorious 17 year-old-bikini self...and to think I thought I was "fat!" (sigh...what I wouldn't give now...)

It all started with me not wanting to wear a swimsuit to my daughter's recreational day with her dance team a few weeks ago. I lamented with my friends on Facebook that I was not "ready" to wear one while I was among the other dance moms. I explained that I had been through two surgeries and a move from one house to another within the last year, all of which prevented me from resuming any sort of fitness regime. In my post I added, in a joking manner, that I was also pasty white and would look horrible. I didn't expect so many replies but I was so happy to see my fellow moms cheering me on, urging me to be proud and wear what I wanted to without feeling badly about my 50-year-old post-baby body.

The next week I had a few friends tag me in posts about moms wearing bathing suits. It made me realize I'm not alone in this insecurity and it helped me go easy on myself. It got me to thinking about the roles we play in each others' lives. This week I realized one of the things I love most about Facebook. Say what you will about the drama and poisonous political rants we've all fallen prey to, but when I feel like venting about something as trivial as hating to wear a swimsuit, I love the support I can get from my friends out there.


Last month I started a health kick where I was eating ONLY fruits & veggies. The first few days were hell but I took strength from friends who encouraged me when I choked down a kale smoothie or said I hated trying to run in this heat. Their encouragement sticks with me now as I continue on in my now-modified health kick...I wasn't kidding anyone, least of all myself, when I said I'd NEVER eat bread again, but I'm definitely doing with LESS then ever before. :)

Whether we're busy moms or models, body-builders or couch potatoes, NONE of us are ever completely satisfied with our bodies. I now shudder to think about how "fat" I thought I was at 26, when I jumped from a size 5 to an (gasp) 8! Or how traumatized I was when found myself wearing a size 12-14 after giving birth 10 years ago. Like age, I should have reminded myself that a clothing size is also just a number. While I'm not gonna lie... maintaining a healthy body weight is important for our health... it's also equally important that we cut ourselves some slack and focus on what we aren't, we should celebrate what we ARE.

Instead of berating myself that I'm never going to be the toned cheerleader I was in college or that my middle is softer than it once was, maybe I should applaud the fact that my body created and carried a human being and that I gave birth well past the age considered medically "safe" or "normal." I should consider it a bonus that I'm able to keep up with a child at my age.



Me in all my old-lady post-baby glory, 2012, before my breast reduction.

If you hate something about yourself, and you can do so, then change it! I did....I spent most of my life carrying around a very large "rack." It prevented me from wearing certain types of clothing and doing certain physical activities. So I had reduction surgery. But first I had to fight with the insurance company to explain why I needed it done. Best decision I ever made.  I contemplated a complete "mommy makeover" at the time. I could have easily had a tummy tuck since I was told I was the perfect candidate, that I was mostly in decent shape except for that middle section and emergency  C-section pouch. It was a big decision for me, we'd have had to pay an additional $5k upfront. I consulted friends who'd had it done. They all swore it was worth and I believe that. But even if I had  to undergo the cost and the painful procedure and recovery, I had to ask myself would it have been worth all I'd have wanted to put my family through at this point in my life just to say I finally had a flat tummy? Did I really want to disrupt my family during those weeks and months I'd need to rely on others to chauffer my child to school, dance and music lessons? My answer was no. Again, I'm not gonna lie.... today there are many days, especially as I'm trying on swimsuits, that I wish I'd had the tummy tuck. What looks great and perfect for me on a hanger almost always disappoints me.

And that's where my cheerleader moms from Facebook come back in. They lift my sagging spirits (and tummy LOL) and encourage me to own and love my body TODAY not to dwell on the body I hope to have after I get back in shape or the body I'll never have again. When I'm blessed enough to see these girls on trips home to Michigan, I never notice what size we all are. I'm too busy focusing on their beautiful smiles and lovely peals of laughter. That's one thing I love about being in this 5th decade of my life. We're all there in the trenches together and the judgments of our 20s and 30s is now long gone. It's really a peaceful time where body image is concerned. I might have had a toned body but I was so stressed out trying to maintain it that truthfully I'd never go back to those days now.

In the end, we're all pulling for each other because as moms we rarely have the time to focus on ourselves. I do so appreciate the beautiful ladies in my life, (many of whom I've known since I was a tiny size 3) who remind me to love myself when I get too busy to remember to do that on my own. It's such an important lesson for my own daughter who at 10, still has NO IDEA how much of a love-hate relationship she's already embarking on with her own little tiny dancer body.

One thing's for certain, as I help her to navigate her impending journey through adolescence, I'm going to let her hear how much I love and respect all the things my old bones have been through and I'll also remind her to surround herself with beautiful, happy, lifelong female friends like I have done, so she'll have her own cheerleaders later on in life, when she needs them.

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