Ahhhhh, February. L'année de L'amour. The month of love. And while I got engaged AND married in the month most famously known for its Valentine hearts, uuber-expensive flowers and chocolates, for native Northerners, February is STILL the dead of winter. From what I've seen on the weather channels and Facebook, my native Michiganders are still getting slammed with the usual sub-zero temps and blasts of snowstorms while I run outdoors to carpool and do other errands with nary a thought to the temperature. I slip on a light jackt and off I go.
Seriously? Is this really ME? The me who used to put off even opening the front door for mail and instead would call my husband, begging him to pick up "just a few" items because I didn't want to go outdoors? The me who would wear hoodies and plush robes and crank up the heat? These days, I'm out the door by 7:20 a.m to drop off my daughter and while I'm out I normally make at least two stops. And this is less than a year after moving south. Who am I? I don't even KNOW myself anymore!
The worst part is, although my driver's license now reads a Tennessee address, I'm STILL a Michigander -- or is it Michiganian, (did we ever really settle that debate?) Therefore, every time I see yet another blow from old man winter headed toward the Great Lake State, I cringe inside...partly because psychologically, I still think it's headed toward ME...and partly because I know my friends and family are in for another beat-down. It makes me feel bad picturing them out there laying salt on their driveways and porches, shovels and snow blowers in hand and wearing their four layers of clothes, especially by this time of year. It's one thing to get cold & snow before Christmas or Hannukah....but by now, even my brother, who usually gets excited about ANY inclement weather announcement is usually beaten back and ready to fly south this time of the year. And I can still relate. Only now, down here, they tell me the worst really IS behind us. (Usually.)
I remember when I moved here last July. I was warned how HOT it can get in the south during the summer. I chuckled because I couldn't wait for longer spells of warm weather. My first weekend here it was, as locals told me, "record high" temps. They weren't kidding. I'm talking 99+ and HUMID. AND WE WERE MOVING INTO A 2nd STORY APARTMENT. UGH.
Let's just say my best hair days come summer are now behind me so long as I live in the south. The wise people of the south also foretold that January would be the coldest month and that by late February, I might even see buds on the trees. Really?? Must be that moonshine, I thought....but guess what? I DO! And that's where the guilt comes in. It feels unfair for my Michigan brethren to still be bundling up their kids, dragging out the snowsuits and sallying forth, while I've already caught my first bit of spring fever.
I also remember locals telling me how panicked people down south get at the mere mention of the dreaded "S" word....that would be S-N-O-W. I chuckled yet again. It can't be, I told myself. There is no way there will be long lines at the supermarkets over 2" of snow that might not even stick. NO WAY they will cancel school. Think again. There were lines...they DID cancel school. Then again, this year, Tennessee got its first BIG snowstorm at Christmas in decades! I was in Michigan so I missed all the fun! Not to worry...I returned from my northern holiday to welcome yet another big snowstorm, from here on to be referred to as the "Tennessee Snowpocalypse of 2011." Eight to 10 inches of the white stuff brought my daughter a "bonus" week off from school. I could not believe the snow scene that awaited me as I raised my shade. I thought I was back in Michigan! People my husband worked with were snowed into their subdivisions for days. HUH?? We Northerners really are gritty, aren't we?
As we remained iside for a week, I thought to myself, if I wanted to be cool, I'd get into my little VW Golf and tool around town just to show these inexperiences southerners how we snow veteran Yankees roll. Not so fast....there isn't much road salt here in the south, nor are there enough snowplows to carve out maizes to drive through. Hence the smooth highways and roads. You rarely see orange barrels around here come spring.
The other tricky part: the lovely mountainside hilly roads are not conducive to safe driving...heck, I could picture myself turning into a driveway, only to slide all the way down a hill and smashing through someone's garage door. Given my driving history, IT COULD HAPPEN.
One friend from down here laughed when I told her most of us northerners drive with winter emergency kits in our cars, including the part that most cracked her up: kitty litter for traction. But I'll bet she'll pick up some kitty litter the next time she hears a forecast for snow.
Last night, my husband and I put in our first bid on a new home...on a hill. I got winded just walking up the driveway. Then again, the majority of homes are in hilly neighborhoods around here. Not to mention there are trees (and spiders) everywhere! Did I mention my major bout with Arachnophobia??? Even a Daddy Longlegs will send me into hysterics.
And yet, oddly enough, the southern natives laugh it off, and I rarely see anyone's face look the least bit squeamish as I ask about the poisonous brown recluse spiders or the large snakes I've always heard about down south. They're as accustomed to creepy snakes and spiders as I am to the snow. And I learned a few home-remedy style "tricks of the trade" from my new friends about how to keep them at bay.
So I now have a new respect for those so-called "inexperienced" southerners I thought were simply afraid of a few little flakes of snow. At least snow can't bite you, it doesn't come around here too often and (gulp) my fearful season of the creepy crawlies is right around the corner.
I guess you can say we Yankees and Confederates each have much to teach each other. So...as I feel guilt now, while running outdoors without socks, I urge my Michigan kin to hang in there...the groundhog predicted an early spring....for ONCE, and y'all better believe I'll be the one you can feel sorry for when it's melting season around here, once again.
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